Slapshot Devestates Benualson

week 16 update 1000lb

Progress has been slow in the Race to 1000 lbs. As such, recent Big 3 totals have been dropped in favor of all-time totals.

Recently, Slapshot has moved ahead of Benaulson in a bold maneuver.  Benualson, aka the Sweat King, is reported to be extremely butthurt about it.


  • Bench Press 200×4
  • Squat 340×4
  • Deadlift 390×3


  • Bench Press 250×3
  • Squat 325×5
  • Deadlift 350×5


Slapshot vs Waxxballs Arms Race

While Slapshot and Benualson continue to tread water in their race to 1000 lbs, a new contender with a distant big 3 total has bested Slapshot in the bench press. Not to be outdone, Slapshot has declared a winner-take-all benchbro fest in the form of an arms race to 2-plate, aka 225 lbs.  Any number of reps can be performed.

Blood will be shed, CNSes will be fried, and tendonitis will be aggravated. WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS??!?!?

Bone gains

In the accrual of strength, each of the organism’s systems are augmented to elevate their performance so it is satisfactory in regard to the stress applied to it.

All of an organism responds to stress. This includes the endocrine system, muscle fibers, central nervous system, digestive system etc.

But there is a secret silver lining in terms to organism gains. It is like a pyramid. Minor changes are done as long as the body can get away with it.


But as more and more stress is encountered, more drastic measures must be made in terms of the organism’s self design and improvement.

Muscles can be improved for a while. Then the central nervous system needs to develop enough to fully use those muscles. The ligaments and tendons get their tensile strength upgraded next.

As long as there is a caloric surplus, all of these systems can be upgraded and maintained.

But in a caloric deficit bad things can happen.

First off protein is an antagonist of calcium. It drains your body of calcium.
Second, when in a caloric deficit the body is spread thin. It is already cutting corners where possible.
Thirdly in cutting, the protein intake has to be higher, so it compounds the calcium loss.
Fourthly, a person can be an ectomorph, which includes the feature of having small bones.

These factors all together form a perfect storm where bones can break.

Everyone has seen it happen to olympic lifters, their bones snap and nobody helps them.

This is because bone gains are the ultimate tissue remodeling achievement. Bones are the last component, the last resort, the last refuge to where the body can pull out it’s last ace card, against the enemy of stress.

In this desperate of times, truly the calcium deposits harden.

Good luck on not snapping bones in two. Usually the smaller ones break first, like a wishbone.

Slapshot Performs Widowmaker

Slapshot performs barely parallel squats for a widowmaker set (20 reps) of 225 lbs.

Motivational Video

Just some motivation to get you pumped up for your next iron session:

Week 2 Update

Slapshot and Benualson continue the long and arduous fight to the top as they wrap up their first 2 weeks in the 1000lb challenge. Both have deloaded as they start their new respective programming.

Slapshot has chosen the 5/3/1 Big But Boring routine while Benaulson has elected to employ the Texas Method.  Will slow and steady win the race, or will fast and furious overcome?  Will the King of Gyno try to pad his stats with dangerously sloppy form or will the Quadrasaurus Rex say to hell with arms and sacrifice all aesthetics in pursuit of glory? Only time will tell.


  • Bench Press 180×3
  • Squat 315×2
  • Deadlift 370×3


  • Bench Press 210×5
  • Squat 285×5
  • Deadlift 335×5

Race to 1000 lbs

Benualson and slapshot have entered into the duel of the century: a race to a Big 3 total (1RM on squat + deadlift + bench press) of 1000 lbs.  Which one will board the train for Snap City and which will emerge victorious?  We will keep you up to date on what is sure to be an intense battle for supreme domination, rife with overreaching and foolish PR attempts and plenty of debilitating injuries.  Only one rep need be performed, and any additional reps lend no advantage.


  • Starting bodyweight: 210 lbs
  • Starting Big 3 Total: 890 lbs
  1. Squat 310 x 3
  2. Deadlift 330 x 6
  3. Bench Press 250 x 4


  • Starting bodyweight: 180 lbs
  • Starting Big 3 Total: 925 lbs
  1. Squat 340 x 3
  2. Deadlift 390 x 3
  3. Bench Press 195 x 2

Rumor has it that Benualson is juicing and shooting HGH, and it is likely he will double his intake of said substances in order to cheat to win this contest.  He will also likely ramp up his perma-bulk, shirking all health concerns while gaining 1 lb on each exercise for every 3 lbs of bodyfat added.

Stay tuned.  Perhaps Waxxballs even has a trick up his sleeve and will be first to the top?

Motivation for intensity day

sometimes you have to absorb a namek


creatine secrets

Many sheep aka starting weakness fan bois say to just take creatine at 5g per day. But if one looks below the surface of this dark yet powerful tool known as creatine, extreme benefits can be uncovered and harnessed for good or evil.

It is true that 2.5g/day of creatine will saturate a user’s skeletal muscle ATP stores after about three month’s time, and 5g/day will saturate a user’s stores in about 1 month. This all ignores the short term effects of creatine dosage, specifically that it peaks in a lifter’s bloodstream after about 2 hours for dosages 10g-15g, and peaks after 1 hour at a pre workout dosage of 5g. Then People wonder why some creatine-containing pre-workouts have directions to take them 1 hour before hand.

creatine truths

Think about it, if you dose 15g creatine 1 hour before your workout, it will peak at a level more than twice the 5g amount. Forget the people who dose creatine after workout. Don’t worry, there are many of these dum-dums as slapshot would put it, himself being one of them.

Another unknown truth about our dear creo is that it increases DHT, another anabolic androgen, levels by 40%. Normally only 5% of a man’s testosterone gets converted in to dht, which is 3x more powerful in it’s anabolic effects. Think how much of a difference 40% will make.

There are some side effects of creatine. It increases blood pressure. This is one of creatine’s side effects for me, as I noticed my blood pressure rising after I started loading. After one month my ATP stores were saturated and my systolic blood pressure was 173. I started to take creatine MWF, and noticed that my blood pressure was always lowest on Monday, and highest on Friday. There is a reason the body does not naturally store extra ATP, and this is one of them.

Another reason is that augmented ATP has an effect on the liver and kidneys. Creatine converts into formaldehyde, at “5g/day” doses this it is ok though, it gets filtered out otherwise it would not be measured in urine by the study. But this is an extra load on one’s organs.

There are stories about this substance bringing users to their knees, collapsing at what they have become. You can become one of these ATP superior beings if you only open your mind to the intelligence that the creatine being is trying to whisper into your subconscious.

Vampires are stronger than regular DYELs